New Books, Writing, Computer Not Working Well and Other Fun Stuff...

I been meaning to keep up with my blog but with my computer not working my iPod in need of repairs and me back to my old old crappy phone is hasn't been working out. Sorry guys I been trying to be better at this and I promise I will do better whenever I can. There is so many thing wrong with my computer I am going to buy a new one. All I need is a cheap computer that lets me write and listen to music and brows YouTube and have all the basic things and that is it. So until then I am not really doing much writing at all to be honest. I got my computer working right now so I am making the best off it. I am trying to fix my iPod because all it needs is a new screen but my dad accidentally broke the new one while putting it so we need to buy another one but hey it happens and once I get my iPod I can do my blog post a lot more often I don’t like feeling like I am neglecting my blog but I always procrastinate a lot and end up not doing it. I know I been bad lately. To be honest my life is always in chaos and it is hard for me to do everything I want but I am trying to get there. I had been trying to read a lot this year so I put my goal of 44 books for this year on good reads and I am trying to reach that goal and surpass it. I have only read two books so far but I am reading like three at this moment going back and forward with them. I love reading as much as I love writing and I figure if I read a lot I can get into the writing mood more often. I finished Redeemed the last HoN (House of Night series by P. C. Cast and Kristin Cast) book this year and it was a hard one to get but after being with this book series since 2009 so it was hard to let go of it and say my goodbyes but I did it and it was such a good ending! I am glad I read the HoN books and I am on to the novellas now and I am having a love hate relationship with them because I want to read them but I don’t want to leave the HoN world behind so yeah it is hard but I am going to do it. I also read Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell and is definitely going on my favorites now. I am currently reading Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard and oh my god this is my favorite Dystopian book so far is just a great book. I got a few new books in my  to be red pile ao I am happy I might get to read my goal of 44 books this year and those are just my  physical books which are growing I can’t even tell you about my  audio books or my  eBooks there are so many. So reading a lot and working a lot and thinking even more in between I can say that though there is a shadow in my schooling area and I am still trying to figure out what to do with that I am happy to say that the rest of my life is slowly falling into place. I have a great love life with my boyfriend and tomorrow we would been dating for 9 months and I can say I am so glad I am dating such a wonderful amazing man and writer. I been thinking on going back to my old project and write, write, write and then send it all to my amazing co-writer Joe so we can finally finish at least one book. I am still finding a way to write to get publish at least one of my works and to my fateful beautiful people on Facebook and here will give a singed copy when my dreams finally come true. Also today was a bad day but I am optimistic that my day will get better with new books and new worlds to explore and all. I am happy to say that my life is a bit simpler than before. For a while now I been disconnected to the social media completely but I am looking forward to getting connected this year and find my right balance. Soon after summer I am getting my new phone because my upgrade is coming up so yes I am getting there. I might want to try using my Nook to write post but I can’t promise I will enjoy it a lot. Well I am leaving this post at this because it has become quite long and I am posting it and after I will get my wonderful editor and sister to edit it and hope she doesn’t scream at my horrible train of taught and my horrible grammar in this post.

With love and care to all my readers:

Elaine Nieves

I AM BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!

Wow I haven't write in so long I miss it! BUT it was great to let my brain take charge and my imagination to be my guide! And I am so thankful to be working on this new project! It is a fresh idea and is something I haven't write before so I am pretty exited and happy to have a great opportunity to write something with an amazing person who has a great mind and heart. My new co-writer is just such a wonderful person and I am just so happy to have him in my life. I am so glad to get back to writing hopefully I get into shape in no time! Soon I am gonna make an investment on a new and better laptop and some pretty neat programs so I can get caught up with all my projects and get them all ready to be read and seen by my new co-author, my old co-author, my editor, and everyone that might need to see them and see if they like any of them. Soon I will get back to my other big project with better ideas and a better direction. I know I had to get away from that one for a while so I could see where I wanted to take it but soon I am gonna tackled it down in no time. I also planned on keeping you guys updated on them and my progress! — feeling inspired.

Life update:

So my life is finally on track. Is life so is hard and a roll-a-coaster of emotions but it is good. I have a job and I love it plus is good starting point to get yourself on track. School is hard so I am taking a short brake to figure my next step on that. My life is good. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is the most supporting person and I love him. He is great and I am so happy. My family is great and is family. I am in a very happy and good place and I feel like I can write a lot more.

Work update:

I have been so overwhelmed on my many project I have given my self I will take one at the time. My work outside of my writing and blogging is pretty stable and though holiday season is coming up and it is gonna be insane I am gonna take everything one step at the time.

Stressed!

Stress is everywhere! I have been stressing out about everything so much that I can feel a heavy weight on my shoulders and my back. I can't attend college this semester I need a job if I want to attend to college at all next semester so I am on a job hunt and THAT is the most exhausting and stressing thing of them all. But I am holding on trying not to get depressed at the fact that I cannot go to school. I got distracted today so much to the point I made a new blog so check it out: Korean Princess: Lee Yeon-Hee

Anyway, I am going back to my job hunt I just wanted to give you and update on me. Oh and BTW I am going to try to distressify by watching some Korean drama. Y( ^ . ^ )Y "FIGHT IT!"

Emotions.

I don't want them. I don't need them. I really hate them. I want to cry. I want to leave and never come back. I want to be done with everyone and everything. Its not save in my head its not safe in my heart and its not safe in me. Emotions are something I had never control well but lately everything is bad and I want to cry all the time but I am sick of it I am sick of being sad and crying all the dam time. I am sick of being so unstable and letting my emotions dictate my life. I want to leave and never come back I want to cry and never ever smile and cry  and cry and bye bye feelings. I am so broken that I don't want it anymore not the pain not even the happiness.... I don't want any emotions at all.

I will always have them.

Breathing

I need to keep my head high even if it is painful to do. I need to smile even if it brings tears to my eyes. I will be strong even if I become the person I hate the most. I will overcome my pain and I will always let myself be what I become. I will break my heart and let myself become the broken doll I try to hide. I will not hide it at all anymore. I will always smile and I will always be the beautiful girl I am inside even if I only despised myself for all the things and feelings that are in me. I will always be the one u was meant to be and even if I kill myself inside until there is no longer sight of who I used to be I will keep going and I will keep breathing. I will become stronger and I will write until my hands bleed. 

Love you, 

Elaine Nieves

Sometimes I Feel Like Life Hates Me!

I swear that life hates me a lot... I am broken hearted, betrayed, sad and reaching my braking point. I was really selfish and I got hurt a lot and hurt someone too and now I feel so guilty because I think my past is hunting me and coming up to get me.... Is sad that I try so hard and yet I am never good enough and yet when I think I am going forward with my head up high I crash back Dow and I can't seem to see how to get back up and keep going. I am strong but yet I feel week. I taught I was wrong but I wasn't and that's what hurts the most I want to run away and cry and never ever come back. See I feel like my smile has been erase my face and I am not ok I just want to cry.... Somehow, I can't seem to find myself and as horrible as it might have been I am starting to wish that I go back to the emotional/mental and physical pain from years before was upon me than this hell but I can't tell anyone anything not how I fully feel because even if I feel so hurt and betrayed I still want to protected those who hurt me even if it cause me the bit of sanity I have left. I am not in control I swears this year has been set up to destroy me. I want to go and get help but where can I go where can I find the help when I don't even know what's wrong I feel like god have deserted me and I don't know anymore. Who is I and who am I? Who am I becoming now....?

This is my little space in the world and here is where I can get naked and let my true skin be shown. Thanks for this space thank you for being my space!

Thanks to my faithful readers for listening err reading to my madness.

Love you,
Elaine Nieves

Overwhelmed!

So this past few weeks it have been so overwhelming. College its hard, family issues stress me to no end, liking someone I am not sure I should even like even though he one of the best boyfriend materials guy I have in my close group of friends. Yep stress to no end. I just hope I can get back to righting soon.

Love you,
Elaine Nieves

Put the Sucky on the Suck!

Life sucks so much... When your best friend stabs you on the back for the first time and it brake you until you can go on and a friendship is over but when your best friend that is like your sister your lover, your all and is the one person that against you gut and your premonitions you trust and believe that it will never ever betray you and dates the person you been liking for a while it hurts but trying not to give up in that friendship its more painful. If I lose one best friend for a guy and then if your best friend steals your crush and stabs you on the back and when the one person you believe it won't ever hurt you that way dose.... One is my fault, two is my bad luck but the third time is that life really hates me and I shouldn't even try at this point.... I had a great friendship broken for someone that wasn't worth it and now I have someone I used to know. Then I have a sister someone I love and care and now I have someone that hates me. Lastly I had a great best friend and now I don't even know anymore....

I chose to give up once for her because she matter enough the other one I embrace it but now.... I can't deal with it not anymore....

I want to leave and never come back and I want to never have feelings ever ever again....

-Elaine.

New Cellphone, New Stage in Life, New Blogging Experience!

Hello it's been a while my black birds! I got some small news. So I am entering a new stage in life. I just started college again a few weeks a go and I am starting in a new major and my life is quickly changing in a new direction. So now things are changing and life is ok, not to good not to bad, it's life and is full of challenges but I'm ready for them. At the moment I am currently not writing any stories or working on any projects because I am working on perfecting my writing skills and getting better at it. I am also working on becoming faster and better at typing so I am taking a typing class (the first of some I will be taking to become a better writer) and for this reason I am taking a brake until winter break to work on my writing. But just because I'm taking a break doesn't mean I'm not writing down ideas as they come because I am writing them just on my journal. I am also thinking on starting a new project to empower girls and soon I'll be blogging about that in more details. And finally I'll be working on getting this blog more active since I have a new better cell phone where I can blog from. This will be all till next blog!

Love you,
Elaine Nieves

Weekly Goal!!!! LET'S DO IT!!!!

Well to all my faithful readers I am going to start blogging once again! I am making it a goal to at least once weekly blog about something so here I go. 

See sometimes life gets in the way and as for now I am single once more but not by choice so life sucks a lot for me right now but I still smile and laugh because I am just that sting even if I die everyday a bit more..... But none of this can be an excuse for not to blog! I am thanking a vacation from work concentrating on my finals and catching up with my projects. 

Now this weekly goal is something that might be hard but I love blogging and I need to work on it. If you are passionate about it you have to make sacrifices to make it work and that's what I am going to do. So my dear readers wish me luck!

With Love,
Elaine Nieves